Marrige researchers around the world seem to concur: the three primary reasons people remain committed to their marrige are:

1. Attraction: devotion, satisfaction, love.
2. Moral/normative: a sense of responsibility for maintaining the marrige based on the idea that it’s an important institution.
3. Constraining: fear of the social, financial, and emotional costs of relationship termination.

If that’s the case, maybe there’s some substance in the claims by those who say marrige is overrated!

After all, it’s a pretty dismal scenario – two millstones and only one possible cause that could be labeled ‘fun’.

So let’s have another look at the ‘fun’ apect – Attraction. Here’s what Marriage for Life has to say:

“Our misunderstanding of love, and what it means to be satisfied have been greatly affected by our culture. Love has been overly romanticized, with an over-emphasis on sex. Also, the idea that the natural state of marrige is happiness has led to a vicious cycle of unhappiness, and a deep dissatisfaction with our lives and our marriges.

“What can we do? – We need to get real about what marrige is, and what we can expect from marrige. Marrige does not require love, it simply provides a framework in which healthy, passionate, intimate love is possible. Marrige does not require satisfaction or happiness. Despite common belief, happiness is simply not the ‘default’ setting for humans. Dissatisfaction and unhappiness are not marrige problems: They are human problems.”

Enter the argument for love marige versus arranged marrige. And all the permutations of that.

But hold on a minute! Ever heard the contrast between theory and practice? And applied it to marital union? Real life can swing some heavy arguments.

A recent study in the US found that married individuals have greater levels of satisfaction with life and less depression than single individuals. Furthermore, higher marital quality was associated with lower blood pressure, lower stress, less depression, and higher levels of satisfaction with life. For those with a low quality of marrige however, single people had a lower level of blood pressure, on average.

So there. Where are you on the happy marrige scale? Really.

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